Well, I said in the beginning that I would try and update people about my journey through culture shock: well, they did tell me it was going to happen, so at least I was prepared for it.
I have, in the past couple weeks, entered the second stage of culture shock, what we call in French le réfus - it is basically the I-hate-everything-about-this phase. For me, it started when I started classes. I hate my classes. They are all lectures, for 3 hours. There is NO student-professor interaction. This is absolutely brain-numbing, and I hate it. It is exactly the style of class I tried to avoid when I decided to go to Dickinson. Then, to top it off, they are in French. I really feel like my French has not improved at all since I've been here - I mean, I get French during classes, eating dinner with my host family, and around the Dickinson Center, but other than that it's all English. When I'm with my Dickinson friends, we always speak English, even though it is so bad for us. I hate that this is our fourth week of classes and I haven't really made any French friends yet. I hate living so far away from everyone else and the centre-ville, even though my house is gorgeous. My host family is really nice, but I hate how I still feel awkward around them, and I only ever talk to them at dinner. I hate how no one in France cleans up after their dog and I always step in dog poop whenever I walk ANYWHERE. I hate how the French seem to stare at everything more than Americans seem to. I hate that even if I try to speak French, people can still hear that I'm American and automatically try to speak in English or make some snide remark about Americans. Here come some funny ones (at least it's good that I can look on the bright side and see the hilarity of my situation) : I hate shutters. Not the nice decorative ones that we have in the States. No, those are good. I mean real shutters. They are such a nuisance and I never want to close them ever because why would I want to close shutters? Then you get no light in. I hate the roofs here, they are soooooo ugly. You know, the little red half-circles that overlap each other. Disgusting. I want normal American roofs. And believe it or not, I hate not living on campus. I hate not being able to see at least one of my friends all the time. I hate being away from all of my friends. I hate being away from Dickinson in general. I hate that no one drinks water here (it's true, no one EVER drinks water. I don't know how they do it). I hate a lot of things right now, but I know that it will get better. I really think that once I start to make French friends, I will get past le réfus.
So at this point, as I've told a few people, I'm seriously debating whether or not I want to stay here for a full year. A year is a long time, especially since I do have a lot of friends who are seniors and who are going to be graduating this year. Everything is just hard right now. I'm having a good experience, I know, and I am having fun, but everything is just hard.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Things
So clearly it's been a while since I posted, since my sendoff last time was "I'm off to the Mediterranean." That was about 4 weeks ago. Well, the Mediterranean was amazing: we found these cabins in this little city called Cap d'Agde that were so cheap and we found train tickets for so cheap, so it was a fun weekend. It was me and 11 LADIES. That's right. Be jealous.
Anyways, I got my fix of the beach - I literally stayed in the waves bodysurfing for 3 HOURS. We got there and all the girls were complaining, "It's too cold!!!!" And I was just like, oh my god, whatever, and jumped in. Good times!!!!
The weekend after, we went on a Dickinson trip to Conques and Cordes-Sur-Ciel. Conques is a medieval city a couple of hours from Toulouse, with this huge 12th century abbey, and mountains all around that we hiked to get a good view of the little village. And the birds around the Church, oh my God (no pun intended), I have never seen so many birds in my whole life! There had to have been thousands. Amazingly none of us were the butt of any of their "accidents", if you know what I mean. Then, we went to Cordes-sur-ciel. From what I gathered, Cordes-sur-ciel is just this place with one soul purpose: to eat people's souls as they trudge up the MOUNTAIN just to get to the village. I'm not kidding. And the Dickinson staff didn't even warn us. We have hiked our fair share well being here, but that little cobblestone pathway up to the hotel made me want to die. I mean seriously, if someone slipped they would have rolled all the way down the road, probably going about 30 mph by the time they got to the bottom. I'm not kidding. it had to be a 60 degree incline. Ridiculous.
That said, Cordes-sur-ciel was fun... We had this amazing gourmet dinner at the hotel, where we ate what I think was pigeon (I have given up the rule that says I have to know what I'm eating : it's more fun that way, ADVENTURE). Pigeon Pie. Whatever it was, it was delicious. And during dinner I was sitting with Mme Toux, the director of the Program, who apparently had not heard the Grand Teton story yet. I told her, and she starts laughing as hard as I've ever heard her laugh, and for so long.
*Speaking of the Grand Teton story, as a side note, here is another fun little story. My host family's cousin came for dinner one night a couple weeks ago, and I start to introduce myself, when my host father goes "NO! This is GRAND TETON!!!!" I'm never going to live it down...
Anyways, on our way back to Toulouse from Cordes-sur-ciel, we stopped at Chateau Lastours, a vineyard, for a winetasting. I can not even describe to you how utterly delicious it smelled around the big vats of wine - I can still smell it, even now. We tasted 5 wines, and they were so delicious, I was prepared to buy about 20 bottles, right there on the spot, to take home for Christmas, because at this point I can not think of a better Christmas present. UNFORTUNATELY you can't ship alcohol to the US apparently, unless you have a business permit or something, and you can only bring 2 BOTTLES in your luggage on the plain. So sorry everyone in America, you will not be tasting some of the most delicious wine on Earth, and you have the God-damned liberal laws and taxes to thank for it. Just kidding. Kind of.
*Speaking of God-damned liberals, what is up with the Nobel Peace Prize committee lately? Jeez.
But I digress. I actually have another cultural experience to share with you all, and this one is a bit difficult, completely changing the way I think of some Americans.
I am going to use a specific example. Yesterday, some of my friends and I were in the grocery store looking for food to cook for dinner. One of my friend's friends was visiting her, who does not speak French, so clearly we were speaking in English. This group of hotshot jerkfaces walks by, and upon hearing us speaking English, proceed to yell at us about being American and expecting everyone else to speak English to us just because we are the arrogant Americans. Last night, we were nothing short of ridiculed just for being Americans, and that was not the first time. There are several people with hostility out there towards Americans and seeing some of the American tourists I have, it's not hard to see why. There are some Americans who DO think that the rest of the world should cater to them, and when I see it here, it is very embarassing. It would be easy to say that it is just the rude, arrogant French who ridicule us, but since I've been here I have noticed that we can take some of the blame. The problem is, even when we speak in French, the people here just speak in English back to us, thinking it will be easier for us because they can obviously hear our accents. It is very discouraging, though, to be ridiculed like that when we are in another country, trying to learn a new language and a new culture.
So what have I learned from that, already in 6 weeks? Patience. I think back on the people in America who have no tolerance for the foreign people who are in the country, trying there hardest to learn English (often because they know they want to live in America, because of the American dream we dangle in front of them), yet there are those who are up on their high horse looking down on them just because they don't speak English perfectly, just because they can hear an accent. It's not fair. I studied French for 9 years before coming to France, and I still have a thick American accent, and can not speak fluently, so what do you expect those in America to do? You can't learn a language until you live in it. It's not fair to be impatient with someone when they have the courage and the drive to learn a new language, especially if it's not something you've ever had to go through. Because it is one of the worst feelings I have ever had in my life.
Sorry for the downer, but have a great week, and I will try to update more often!
Anyways, I got my fix of the beach - I literally stayed in the waves bodysurfing for 3 HOURS. We got there and all the girls were complaining, "It's too cold!!!!" And I was just like, oh my god, whatever, and jumped in. Good times!!!!
The weekend after, we went on a Dickinson trip to Conques and Cordes-Sur-Ciel. Conques is a medieval city a couple of hours from Toulouse, with this huge 12th century abbey, and mountains all around that we hiked to get a good view of the little village. And the birds around the Church, oh my God (no pun intended), I have never seen so many birds in my whole life! There had to have been thousands. Amazingly none of us were the butt of any of their "accidents", if you know what I mean. Then, we went to Cordes-sur-ciel. From what I gathered, Cordes-sur-ciel is just this place with one soul purpose: to eat people's souls as they trudge up the MOUNTAIN just to get to the village. I'm not kidding. And the Dickinson staff didn't even warn us. We have hiked our fair share well being here, but that little cobblestone pathway up to the hotel made me want to die. I mean seriously, if someone slipped they would have rolled all the way down the road, probably going about 30 mph by the time they got to the bottom. I'm not kidding. it had to be a 60 degree incline. Ridiculous.
That said, Cordes-sur-ciel was fun... We had this amazing gourmet dinner at the hotel, where we ate what I think was pigeon (I have given up the rule that says I have to know what I'm eating : it's more fun that way, ADVENTURE). Pigeon Pie. Whatever it was, it was delicious. And during dinner I was sitting with Mme Toux, the director of the Program, who apparently had not heard the Grand Teton story yet. I told her, and she starts laughing as hard as I've ever heard her laugh, and for so long.
*Speaking of the Grand Teton story, as a side note, here is another fun little story. My host family's cousin came for dinner one night a couple weeks ago, and I start to introduce myself, when my host father goes "NO! This is GRAND TETON!!!!" I'm never going to live it down...
Anyways, on our way back to Toulouse from Cordes-sur-ciel, we stopped at Chateau Lastours, a vineyard, for a winetasting. I can not even describe to you how utterly delicious it smelled around the big vats of wine - I can still smell it, even now. We tasted 5 wines, and they were so delicious, I was prepared to buy about 20 bottles, right there on the spot, to take home for Christmas, because at this point I can not think of a better Christmas present. UNFORTUNATELY you can't ship alcohol to the US apparently, unless you have a business permit or something, and you can only bring 2 BOTTLES in your luggage on the plain. So sorry everyone in America, you will not be tasting some of the most delicious wine on Earth, and you have the God-damned liberal laws and taxes to thank for it. Just kidding. Kind of.
*Speaking of God-damned liberals, what is up with the Nobel Peace Prize committee lately? Jeez.
But I digress. I actually have another cultural experience to share with you all, and this one is a bit difficult, completely changing the way I think of some Americans.
I am going to use a specific example. Yesterday, some of my friends and I were in the grocery store looking for food to cook for dinner. One of my friend's friends was visiting her, who does not speak French, so clearly we were speaking in English. This group of hotshot jerkfaces walks by, and upon hearing us speaking English, proceed to yell at us about being American and expecting everyone else to speak English to us just because we are the arrogant Americans. Last night, we were nothing short of ridiculed just for being Americans, and that was not the first time. There are several people with hostility out there towards Americans and seeing some of the American tourists I have, it's not hard to see why. There are some Americans who DO think that the rest of the world should cater to them, and when I see it here, it is very embarassing. It would be easy to say that it is just the rude, arrogant French who ridicule us, but since I've been here I have noticed that we can take some of the blame. The problem is, even when we speak in French, the people here just speak in English back to us, thinking it will be easier for us because they can obviously hear our accents. It is very discouraging, though, to be ridiculed like that when we are in another country, trying to learn a new language and a new culture.
So what have I learned from that, already in 6 weeks? Patience. I think back on the people in America who have no tolerance for the foreign people who are in the country, trying there hardest to learn English (often because they know they want to live in America, because of the American dream we dangle in front of them), yet there are those who are up on their high horse looking down on them just because they don't speak English perfectly, just because they can hear an accent. It's not fair. I studied French for 9 years before coming to France, and I still have a thick American accent, and can not speak fluently, so what do you expect those in America to do? You can't learn a language until you live in it. It's not fair to be impatient with someone when they have the courage and the drive to learn a new language, especially if it's not something you've ever had to go through. Because it is one of the worst feelings I have ever had in my life.
Sorry for the downer, but have a great week, and I will try to update more often!
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